Second Chances
by hersheygal
Summary: Kate has visions of Jack even though she knows he's gone, but she clings to him because it's the only reality she wants to be part of. Until she gives birth to their son, David.  Jate and mentions of Charlie/Claire.
1. Chapter 1

The roaring of the ocean sung to her like a lullaby. Kate closed her eyes and enjoyed the warmth of the sand beneath her, the sun above her, and the warmth of Jack's body so close to her own as they lay on the beach.

"I don't want this to end." Kate murmured.

Jack's arm tightened around her waist. "But it has to." Jack whispered in her ear.

Kate opened her eyes and leaned out of Jack's embrace slightly, turning her head to face his. For a moment she was stunned by his handsome features. Her hand reached up to feel the scruff of his beard. "What if it doesn't have to?"

"Kate." Jack put his hand over her own and gently lifted it off of his face and set it back down in the sand, but not letting go.

"What?"

"Kate!"

Kate shook her head. "No."

"Kate! Wake up!"

Kate squeezed her eyes tightly, her hands grabbing not Jack's hand, but the bed sheets. Her heart sunk. She wasn't back on the beach with Jack. She was in her house.

"Kate!"

Kate reluctantly opened her eyes to find Claire's staring at her anxiously.

"You've been sleeping almost fourteen hours! You told me you were taking a nap!" Claire yelled at her.

Kate sat up and rubbed her eyes. "I'm sorry," She took her hands away from her face and realized she was crying. Again.

"Oh Kate." Claire sat beside her on the king size bed and took Kate's hand in her own.

"I'm fine, really." Kate tried to smile, failing miserably.

"Maybe.. maybe you should see someone." Claire suggested. For the tenth time that week.

They had gotten off the island almost a month ago. Claire and Aaron moved in with Kate in her house back in L.A. It had been Kate's idea, but now she was wondering if it had been a bad idea. The house reminded her too much of Jack. Too much of their life together with Aaron. It was hard enough seeing Claire become a mother to her son again.

"No." Kate shook her head. "I'm fine, really." She repeated again.

"What are we going to do?" Claire asked, mostly to herself.

"What time is it?" Kate asked as she forced herself out of bed. She realized she had been in the same pajamas for over two days now. She couldn't even remember the last time she left the house.

Claire got out of bed and began making it. Ever since they got back she always made a point to make the beds. "It's ten."

"Oh, that's not too bad." Kate rubbed her head and yawned. She moved to the closet for her robe.

"Ten pm." Claire said. "Your schedule is all messed up Kate."

Kate tied her robe around her and turned the light off in the closet before she saw Jack's clothes hanging on the opposite side from hers. She had never moved them after Jack left. And he had never come back for them.

The first time she noticed them she had grabbed his dark blue shirt, one of her favorites, and sat down in the middle of the closet and just cried as she buried her face in it. Aaron had found her there and he tried to console her by sitting in her lap. He called her mommy, which made her cry all the more.

"What's wrong Mommy?" Aaron asked, tugging on Kate's hair gently.

"Nothing baby." Kate murmured. She knew she was supposed to correct Aaron. Tell him that she was Aunt Kate now, but she just couldn't do it. Not this time.

Aaron noticed she didn't correct him, and he snuggled deeper into her and she wrapped him up in her arms, along with the blue shirt. Aaron's hand grabbed the shirt, and he smiled at Kate.

Claire had found them there but decided to let them be. She was jealous of their bond, the bond of a mother and son, one that was hard to break. Kate had been great though, understanding. She had sat Aaron down and explained to him that Claire was his real mom, and she was his aunt. It went well until Aaron asked about Jack, and that was when Claire had to take over.

Kate stepped out of the closet and back into her bedroom, where the bed was made.

"Did you hear me Kate?" Claire asked, concerned.

"What?"

"It's ten o'clock at night." Claire repeated.

"Oh." Kate said absentmindedly. "I didn't even…" she trailed off.

Suddenly, Aaron's cries were heard from across the house, and Claire looked at Kate. "I'll be back."

Kate followed her and watched from the door as Claire comforted Aaron.

"It was only a bad dream." Claire murmured as she held her son against her.

The blonde boy looked up from his mother's shoulder and met Kate's eyes.

Kate smiled at him halfheartedly and he closed his eyes and returned his head to Claire's shoulder.

Kate sighed and stepped out of the doorway and into the hall. She leaned against the wall, fighting the memories and tears that were threatening to fall.

"I'm so glad that you changed your mind." She whispered as she closed her eyes, thinking of a memory from long ago.

"Me too." It was like she could hear Jack's voice as if he was there.

Kate opened her eyes to find Jack's staring back at her.

"Jack?" Kate's brow furrowed in confusion.

Jack smiled and put his hand to her face.

"You're not real." Kate stated.

"No." He looked down sadly.

"Then why am I seeing you?" she asked.

"Because you need to move on."

'I can't" Kate shook her head. "I need you. I miss you so much."

"I know. I miss you too."

"Kate?"

Kate looked to her right to find Claire staring at her questioningly.

Kate looked at Jack again, only to find that he was gone. She sighed.

It was the first of many times she would see him.

A/N: Please review! I'm a little rusty, but I just had to write this. Would you like to see a chapter from Claire's point of view or would you like me to keep it in Kate's point of view? I'm open to suggestions!


	2. Chapter 2

Kate stood in the closet once again, but this time with determination. She was trying to pick out an outfit. She finally gave up and picked out a simple outfit, a t shirt and jeans. She could hear cartoons playing downstairs and Claire singing as she cleaned up the kitchen from breakfast.

Kate put on her shirt and then went to put on her jeans when she realized they didn't fit.

"That's odd." Kate murmured. She tried in vain to get them on but they just wouldn't zip. Kate sighed and looked in the mirror. She did feel like she had gained some weight, but she wasn't really eating any different. She grabbed a pair of sweats from her drawer and went downstairs.

Claire noticed immediately that Kate was wearing sweats. "I thought you were leaving the house today."

Kate tied her hair up with a band and grabbed a glass out of the cupboard. "My jeans don't fit." She said simply.

"What?"

"Yeah."

"Well, you've been feeling pretty sick lately right?" Claire asked.

"Yeah." Kate sat down at the island in the middle of the kitchen.

"Maybe you should see someone." Claire suggested.

Kate gave her a look.

"Not like that. Like a doctor." Claire said.

Kate looked down at the mention of the word doctor.

Claire grabbed Kate's hand. "Kate, you need to go. You know I wouldn't be forcing you if I didn't think you needed it."

Kate nodded. "I know. You're right. I'll go tomorrow."

"Really?" Claire asked, surprised.

"Yeah. I will." Kate assured her.

"All right then." Claire smiled at her. "I have to take Aaron to school, you're sure you'll be okay at home?"

"I'll be fine." Kate smiled back. "I'll clean up a little. I know I haven't been too helpful around here lately. I'm sorry."

"It's okay. I understand. I was the same way after Charlie-"Claire stopped herself. "I was the same way."

The two shared a look before Claire left with Aaron.

Kate went into the bathroom and opened the medicine cabinet and stared at the top shelf. She knew what was wrong with her. At least she thought she knew.

"_Is it ready yet?" Jack asked excitedly as he paced their bedroom back and forth. _

"_No not yet."Kate was sitting on their bed, smiling at Jack's enthusiasm._

"_Well when?"_

"_One more minute. Sit down Jack." Kate laughed._

"_Why aren't you nervous about this?" Jack asked as he sat beside her, taking her hand in his, more for his own comfort than for Kate. _

"_I am. I'm just good at hiding it." Kate grinned. _

_Jack returned her smile. "Is it ready yet?" He asked again._

_She looked down at her watch. "Ready." She looked back up at him._

_Jack took her face in his hands and kissed her softly. "No matter what happens after this, we're gonna be okay."_

"_I know." Kate nodded. "Ready?"_

"_Ready."Jack smiled._

_Kate looked down at the pregnancy test. "It's negative." _

"_Oh." It was all that Jack could muster._

_Kate's eyes filled with tears. She couldn't bear to look up at Jack again._

"_I'm sorry." She whispered._

"_Why are you apologizing? You have nothing to be sorry for. We're going to have a baby someday." Jack promised and took her in his arms, and they cried together. _

Kate's heart beat out of her chest as she waited for the test results. She sat on the bathroom floor, anxiously tapping her fingers against the cardboard box.

"Where are you when I need you?" Kate asked to herself. Jack had appeared to her several times since she had first seen him, and although she knew he wasn't real, she couldn't help but enjoy those moments he was there.

She glanced at her watch and realized that it was time. She took a deep breath and closed her eyes, counting to five, before looking at the result.

A/N: Thanks for reading and reviewing! I'll update in a few days! Suggestions are always welcome! Claire chapter coming next!


	3. Chapter 3

A/N: All right, I decided to write a chapter from Claire's point of view. Hope you enjoy!

Claire tapped her fingers against the steering wheel of the car anxiously. Traffic was bad today, and she wanted to get home. She didn't like leaving Kate by herself now more than ever. Kate insisted she was okay, but Claire knew better. Kate was now in her second trimester. She'd been in her first without even knowing it.

After Kate found out she was pregnant they had a long talk about it that involved a lot of crying on both their parts as Kate relived the night she and Jack had slept together before going back to the island. Kate had told Claire that it killed her to think that the last time they slept together wasn't really because of love. It might have been on Jack's part, but Kate had done it because she needed it. Needed Jack to help her ease the pain of leaving Aaron. She had used him, and Jack had been more than willing to help.

After Kate and Claire's talk, Kate had calmed down a little. She even seemed to be going back to normal, but Claire knew better. Kate was always good at putting up a front. It was hard for Claire sometimes to listen to Kate tell Claire about her life with Jack. She wished she could have had that with Charlie.

Claire recognized a tune on the radio so she turned it up a bit.

Claire had adjusted to off island life quite well, much better than had been expected. Of course, she had been forced to. Kate had told her she would help her learn how to be a mom to Aaron again, and she had, but Kate was so distracted and disjointed from life that all she could do was sit around the house. The only time Claire ever saw any life in Kate's eyes was when she was around Aaron.

To be honest, Claire felt alone. She had no one she could call for help. Then again, she was used to being alone. She was alone on the island for over three years. It was being with people again that was hard to get used to. She had been desperate one night and called James, but he was halfway round the world, drunk out of his mind. She didn't have the heart to tell Kate so she kept it to herself.

Claire pulled in the driveway to the house and turned off the car. She opened the front door and called for Kate.

"Hello? I'm home! Kate?"

There was no response.

"Kate?" Claire walked into the kitchen and living room before going upstairs to Kate's bedroom. She stopped in the doorway as she realized that Kate was sleeping in the bed, with Aaron in her arms. She smiled at how peaceful they looked together, like a real family. She sighed and slowly backed out of the room and went back downstairs.

Sitting on the desk was a picture frame with a picture of Jack and Aaron. Kate had never moved it. Claire picked it up and looked at it for a while. She wished that she had a picture of Charlie. She missed him so much. Kate and Jack had given Aaron a real home while Claire was on the island, and Claire would be forever grateful. She never wanted her son to know about what her life was like on the island alone. In a way, she was jealous that Kate had gotten to live that perfect life, even if it was only for a while. It was times like these when she missed Charlie the most.

It was little things too that she missed. She discovered she could no longer eat peanut butter, because the pain that went with it was too much for her to bear. Kate had tried to buy some one time, and Claire wouldn't allow it.

"Why can't I buy some peanut butter?" Kate grinned. "Aaron loves it."

"Does he?" Claire smiled sadly.

"Yes." Kate nodded. "So why not?"

"Well you know how you can't read Alice in Wonderland to Aaron because it reminds you of Jack?" Claire said.

"Yeah?" Kate's expression quickly changed.

"Well.. it's kind of like that."

"Oh." Kate immediately got it and set the peanut butter down. She understood that feeling perfectly.

Claire was actually doing fairly well. It had been over three years, going on almost four since Charlie had died. But on the island Claire hadn't really grieved. She didn't allow herself time to grieve. And watching Kate grieve over Jack made Claire remember those feelings of loss and being scared.

"Claire?"

Claire jumped a little and looked over her shoulder at Kate, who was holding Aaron.

Claire realized she was still holding the picture of Jack and Aaron. "This is such a cute picture of them."

Kate walked over to Claire, still holding Aaron. She purposely hadn't looked at the picture since they had gotten back. Aaron reached for it, and Claire let it him have it.

"Uncle Jack." Aaron stated simply.

"Yeah." Kate said tearfully, setting Aaron on the ground.

Claire smiled at Kate. "Aaron called him Uncle Jack?"

"Of course." Kate returned the smile, wiping her eyes. "Jack wanted him to. Jack loved him."

Claire picked up her son and returned the picture to the desk.

"I miss Uncle Jack." Aaron said sadly.

"So do we sweetie." Claire kissed her son on the forehead. "So do we."

A/N: Coming up, Kate has a unexpected visitor.


	4. Chapter 4

Kate tapped her foot against the coffee table impatiently as she sat on the couch in the living room. The television was on but she wasn't paying attention. She was waiting for Claire to come home so she could go take the car and run some errands. Kate still needed to get some things for the nursery.

Kate had put everything she had into the nursery. It helped her focus. After finding out she was pregnant, the visions of Jack increased. She was scared, more than she had ever been. She didn't know how she was going to be able to handle being a mother without Jack. But when she was in the nursery, the pain didn't seem as intense. So she spent most of her time there.

Claire had been wonderful to Kate ever since they got back. She was understanding, and listened to Kate whenever Kate was willing to open up. She had taken care of Kate when Kate couldn't take care of herself. Kate promised herself that she would make it up to Claire someday.

Claire walked through the door with Aaron at that moment. "Go upstairs and wash up for dinner!" Claire called to him as he ran up the stairs. She laughed at his clumsiness as he tripped running up. "Be careful!"

She shook her head and made her way to the kitchen. "I thought we would have chicken tonight." She said to Kate, who was still sitting in the living room.

Kate made a face. Nothing sounded good to her anymore. She continued to flip channels on the television before she stopped on one. Her eyes widened as she realized who was on the screen.

"Claire, come quick!" Kate called.

"What is it?" Claire asked, briskly making her way to the living room.

Kate could only point to the television, with her hand on her mouth.

On the television screen was Charlie, of all people, with his band Driveshaft. It was a primetime special about how the band was not well known before the crash and how afterwards the sales skyrocketed.

Currently the program was showing an interview with Charlie from long ago, and the interviewer was asking Charlie a question.

"Do you believe in love?" The interviewer asked, in reference to one of the songs written on their album about finding true love.

Claire walked over to the television screen, tears threatening to fall. Her fingers touched the screen for a second before she took them off.

Aaron came downstairs to see what Kate had been talking about and looked at the two women's shocked faces and looked at the television screen. He didn't understand what was going on.

"Well, I do. I guess. Someday. It just hasn't happened yet for me I suppose." Charlie shrugged his shoulders. "But when it does, I'm sure it will be amazing." He smiled into the camera and Claire took in every detail.

He was much younger on the screen, and he wasn't the Charlie that Claire had known. She could tell that it was during his drug addiction days, but it was still Charlie. Claire had no pictures of Charlie to remember him by, nothing of his that she could have whereas Kate had a whole house of memories.

The interview was soon over, and Claire sat down next to Kate on the couch, not saying a word.

"Who was that?" Aaron asked, walking over to his mother.

"That was Charlie." Claire smiled, wiping her eyes and taking her son in her arms.

"Charlie?" Aaron questioned.

"Charlie was someone very special to your mom. He helped take care of you for a while." Kate reached over and pushed a piece of Aaron's hair out of his eyes. His blonde hair was growing out, and he definitely needed a haircut.

"Like Uncle Jack did?" Aaron asked.

"Yes, exactly like that." Claire smiled.

Suddenly there was a knock on the door. "Were you expecting someone?" Kate asked in surprise.

"No." Claire stood up. "I'll get it." She went to the door and opened it. Standing there was a man in a suit with a briefcase.

"Hello, I'm John Stevens. I'm looking for Kate Austen."

"What do you need?" Claire asked suspiciously. Even though Kate had been cleared of all her charges, Claire was still leery of lawyers and cops.

"I need to talk to her, about Jack Shephard."

"Come in." Claire opened her door and the man stepped through.

Kate overheard the conversation and walked into the hallway. "Why don't you take Aaron upstairs Claire?"

Claire nodded. "I'll be upstairs if you need me."

"I'm Kate Austen." Kate introduced herself.

"John Stevens." John held out his hand. "I was Jack Shephard's lawyer."

A/N: Coming up, what does Jack's lawyer want? Also, I can promise it's going to have a lot of Jate angst!


	5. Chapter 5

A/N: Hey everyone! I am so sorry for the delay, my computer crashed and I had no way to access the document that had the story on it, but my computer finally works again and so now I'm updating!

Kate's fingers curled around the coffee mug tightly as she sat at the dining room table. John Stevens, Jack's lawyer, sat across from her, leafing through paperwork.

"When was the last time you talked to Jack?" Kate asked. She was guarded, and wasn't sure what to make of this lawyer. Jack had never mentioned he had one. But she supposed it was logical. Jack had a lot of money, and not just from the Oceanic settlement.

"About six months ago." John said, without looking away from his briefcase.. "He was in a hurry, said he was leaving soon, for somewhere dangerous. When I asked Jack where, he wouldn't tell me. He said that it was better if I didn't know."

"Why did he come to you?"

The lawyer finally found what he was looking for, a yellow manila envelope. He set it down in front of Kate.

"Jack had a will. I'm not sure if you knew about it, but he wrote it a couple of years ago. About a year after you and your friends were rescued. Jack came to me a couple months ago to make sure everything was correct in it. He added a few things."

"No, I didn't know about it. "

"You two were engaged at the time that he first came to me, if I can remember correctly."

"Why would you know that?" Kate asked suspiciously.

John nodded towards the envelope. "Because, Kate, Jack's will is in that envelope, and I was instructed to give it to you, when Jack.. passed. I'm sorry for your loss."

"We were engaged, but never married." Kate stared at the envelope.

"Oh." John leaned back. "Well, I was instructed to give this to you, nonetheless."

Kate leaned forward, placing her hand on the envelope. "When Jack came to you, what did he change?"

"I think you should just open the envelope, Miss Austen."

Kate slowly opened the envelope, her eyes never leaving John's. She took out the papers, and a silver key fell out of the envelope.

Kate picked it up. "What's this?"

"When Jack came to me, he gave me the key. It was to his apartment. Kate, Jack left everything to you. For some reason, Jack was sure that he wasn't going to be coming back from where ever it was that he went. And he said in case you didn't come with him, he wanted you to have everything. I'm assuming you didn't go with him."

"I did go with him." Kate said sharply. "Jack.. Jack saved me-and my friends. I lived. He didn't. End of story."

"I see."

Kate put the key on the table, pushing it towards the lawyer. "I don't need the key. Why are you coming to me now?"

"Because the owner of the apartment complex that Jack lived in said if someone doesn't pick up the lease soon, they're going to go in and clean it up and sell it to someone else. I've been able to prevent that so far, but now they want money."

"So give them some money. Let them take the apartment."

"I can't do that. Jack was very specific about leaving the apartment to you, that you needed to have it."

"Why would Jack want me to have his apartment?"

"I don't know, Kate. I was hoping you would know."

Kate shook her head. "I don't know.

"Is the baby his?" the lawyer asked.

"I don't think that's appropriate." Kate picked up the papers and scanned through them briefly.

"You're right, I'm sorry."

"Yes, it's his. So this is it? No.. note or anything?" Kate wasn't sure how to feel about that. A part of her had hoped that maybe he had left her something, anything in his writing. But another part of her was glad that there wasn't one.

"No, I'm afraid not. I'll give you some time to look over the papers. You need to let me know what account you want the money to go into and what you decide to do with the apartment." The lawyer began packing up his things.

Kate nodded, a lump forming in her throat. She had reached the end of the paper, where Jack's signature was.

"How long had you known Jack?" Kate asked, clearing her throat.

"Oh Ms. Austin, I've been the family lawyer for years." John smiled.

Kate stood up. "Well let me see you out. Thank you for stopping by. I just need to take some time to sort this all out." She walked to the entryway and the lawyer followed her.

"Of course, thank you for your time." The lawyer shook her hand and Kate closed the door behind him.

Kate slowly walked back to the dining room and sat down. It was getting harder for her to move around with her protruding stomach. She laid her hand on her stomach as she felt the baby kick.

She picked the key up to the apartment, turning it over in her hand. She had her own key to the apartment that she had put away a long time ago, in a box she was not quite ready to open yet.

"What was that about?"

Kate looked up to find Claire standing in the doorway.

"That was Jack's lawyer."

"What did he want?" Claire sat down at the table across from Kate, spying the papers in her hands.

"This is Jack's will." Kate looked up at Claire with teary eyes.

"Oh my," Claire took the papers from Kate and looked through them. Jack had made sure his mother was taken care of and that the hospital would also get a portion of his money. But what startled her was that Jack had set aside some of his money for Claire and Aaron.

"Jack put Aaron and I in here." Claire was also now close to tears.

"Jack went to his lawyer the morning before we left to come back to the island." Kate explained.

Claire went further down the will. "Jack had an apartment? How come I didn't know about this?"

"I honestly forgot about it." Kate admitted. "Maybe my mind blocked it. I don't know. But Jack really wanted me to have it."

"So what are you going to do?"

"I'm going to go there tonight, if you don't need me here."

"Of course. Do you want me to come with you?" Claire asked.

"No, this is something I need to do myself." Kate stood up from the table, the key in her hand.

Claire grabbed Kate's hand as she walked by. "Kate, call me if you need me."

Kate half smiled and nodded. "I'll be fine."

But both Claire and Kate knew that she wasn't going to be fine. If no one had been in the apartment since Jack last left it, Kate wasn't sure she was going to like what she was going to find.

A/N: Be prepared for A LOT of jate in the next chapter! I will update in a few days. Please review to let me know you're still reading!


End file.
